Am I losing it??

happy f*in holidays everyone!
i went to Best Buy today to buy the new Nelly Furtado cd (which i highly recommend). i hate best buy anyway, but i really hate having to wait like an hour to buy one cd. so as i approach the checkout line, i see that there is a woman with a cart (facing away from the line) about 5 feet behind the last person in line. this woman is seriously looking at some nearby merchandise, so i assume that she isnt in line yet. about 3 minutes after i stepped into line, this woman turns her cart around and pushes it up next to me like she's gonna cut in. i thought about letting her go in front of me anyway, but i didnt. 5 minutes later, the woman in front of me turns around and says very calmly to the woman behind me, 'maam, you're ramming your cart into my leg.' i looked down and sure enough, the woman's cart was practically knocking this other woman over. the woman behind me (who by the way, was like 50 or 60 and wheezing), says angrily 'well damn, its not like i'm doin it on purpose.' to which the first woman replies as cool and collected as ever, 'i didnt say you were'. the older woman then starts muttering obscenities and says, 'if i'd wanted to, i'd knock your ass out with this cart.' i just looked at her completely shocked. i mean, are you kidding me??? after the woman in front of me was called to a register, the other woman (who had begun to ram ME with her cart) yelled, 'f*ck you bitch'. to which i replied, 'and happy f*in holidays to you too maam.'

my helpful tip of the day....no matter how easy the box may proclaim at-home highlighting to be, its not. splurge and go to a professional.

its officially time to get the hell out of Michigan. its 27 degrees and snowing. funny, it was 62 and sunny yesterday.

i know i don't say this very often, but GO BLUE! thanks for kickin some Buckeye ass.

have you ever had a job where there was no training at all? like you just show up on a day's notice and they throw you in with the sharks so to speak. i don't even get my uniform until i show up for my first day (which means changing clothes in a public bathroom, ugh). worse yet, they still havent told anyone what they'll be paid. isnt that illegal? everything is chaos and i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing. needless to say, i don't have a lot of faith in this company.

today my brother (who is 30 by the way) threw a temper tantrum because i asked him to please make sure he seals the bag of sliced turkey the next time he makes a sandwich so that it doesn't go bad. can you say 'overly dramatic'? how about 'immature'? 'lazy'? fyi...i bought the turkey and no one asked if they could have any.

i'm starting to think that this boy-crazy state of mind is NOT a phase. this is who i am. this being said, should i take it as a bad sign that every time i start a new job, i develop a crush on one of my superiors? i havent even officially started yet and i find myself lusting after one of my managers. i smell trouble. but at least i'll be making mad cash.

ahhh....another wasted weekend has flown by. why is it that i put everything off until the weekend but somehow never manage to accomplish anything during those precious days? oh well, there's always next weekend....

'my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, its better than yours. damn right, its better than yours. i could teach you but i'd have to charge.' oh kelis, you've done it again.

ahh, aren't staff meetings fun? especially the ones where everyone else gets in trouble for doing something they're not supposed to do and you get labeled a snitch simply because you know how to follow a simple rule. last hired, first fired? not today.

here's my helpful tip of the day: when wearing Old Navy belted cargos, ALWAYS wear the belt. i dont care how annoying that stupid belt may be, it is absolutely necessary.

my parents brought KFC home yesterday (yuck, i know) after i had already eaten and just as i was out the door to go to work. i couldnt resist the biscuits though. the meal came with 6, since there were 3 of us, 2 biscuits each...simple math. i grabbed my 2, put them in a ziploc bag and took them to work. i only ate one at work so when i got home, i hid the other one in the back of the fridge so i could have it later. so i woke up this morning with a fierce craving for that biscuit. i went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. low and behold, the biscuit was nowhere to be found. i asked my mom (who was busy at the counter) if someone had eaten my biscuit and she says, 'i'm eating it now'. 'excuse me?' i replied. 'i'm eating it now. u want it?' she asked sarcastically. i looked at my poor biscuit who was now dripping with butter and ugh, grape jelly. 'not anymore' i said angrily. so she headed off to park her ass on the sofa and watch a few hours of tv. of course, she left the dirty knife, the ziploc bag, and the jar of grape jelly all sitting on the counter. i refuse to clean that up. so my question is, at any point during her biscuit preparations did my mom wonder why that particular biscuit was in a ziploc bag all the way in the back of the fridge, instead of in the box where all the others had been? or, didnt she at some point do the biscuit math?? if she had already eaten her 2 (and i'm sure one of my dad's), didnt she think, 'hey, maybe this is someone else's'. if only i had gotten to the kitchen 30 seconds earlier, i could have saved that damn biscuit.
god i need to get out of this house.

why is it that every single piece of mail that i receive from the UM alumni association is addressed to Mr. Mary Kristina Miller? what part of my name indicates that a Mr. is in order?? bastards....after all the money i threw away at that school, you'd think they could at least get my gender right.

if anything ever goes wrong in your life at any time and you need a scapegoat, feel free to blame me. everyone else does. use me as often as necessary since that appears to be my sole purpose in life. well, that and cleaning up after my mom's lazy ass.

tonight i did something i haven't done in a while. i went on a date. granted it was with my dad, but nonetheless, a date. in honor of his 63rd bday (yeah, thats right, 63) i offered to take him to whatever restaurant he wanted for dinner. instead of picking some nice, somewhat pricy establishment, my dad picks the tackiest, cheapest place he could find in the phone book. i felt like i was eating in a nursing home due not only to the floral, pastel decor, but also because i think my dad and i happened to be among the youngest clientele. we even sat next to the priest from our church which creeped me out a little, but i'm not sure why. the service sucked (i dont think our waitress had her hearing aid turned on), but at least the food wasn't terrible...although after removing the fat, i was left with only half of my steak. after dinner, we attempted to meet up with my brother at the bar, but he forgot to show up. we even tried his other favorite watering hole, but no such luck. my dad insisted on staying though, so i pounded a couple while patiently waiting for him to nurse his beer.
while at the bar, i proved once again to myself and everyone else why i'm likely to be single (and going on dates with my dad) for the duration of my life. on my way back from the restroom, a perfectly nice and attractive guy greeted me with a 'hi, how are you?'. my response? well, in all of my bitchy glory, i mumbled 'hi' and walked away. yes, walked away. it took about 2 seconds for me to think, 'what the hell is wrong with me?', but i still didnt turn around. here it is, nearly an hour later, and i'm still wondering, why the hell do i do that every time a guy tries to talk to me? ah well, he was probably a douchebag anyway.

i went to work dressed as sporty spice tonight and didnt even notice. granted i work at a gym so it wasnt that big of a deal, but still. i wore adidas-like pants (you know, the ones with 2 stripes instead of 3....cuz i refuse to spend a ridiculous amount of $ on pants i'm gonna wear to the gym), sneakers, my work t-shirt and an adidas jacket (the real thing....a 'present' from an ex-roomie, lol). i had my hair pulled back and everything. these are the days when i wish i had a roomie to tell me how stupid i look before i leave the house. oh well.

why god why?? why didn't bob pick mary??? she is like, the perfect woman. i love her, i want to be her. or at least her new best friend. well if he's not gonna end up with mary, he at least better pick kelly jo. if he picks estella, i swear i'm gonna scream....but in an obnoxiously whiny voice like hers.

i loved 1984...trapper keepers, my little pony, billy idol...whats not to love? but why is it that everytime i turn on VH1, thats the episode of 'I love the 80s strikes back' thats on. i've seen the others, too, its just that i've seen 1984 about a dozen times more. why? and why, if i've seen it 26 times, can't i ever turn it off?
oh, and hal, if things don't work out with meg, i'm available.

if my mom gets any lazier (as if thats even possible), i think her body might actually just forget how to work. today, i came home from kickboxing and immediately went to work cleaning the house. i found an empty cereal box on the counter, literally an inch from the trash can. when i asked my mom (sarcastically of course) if she was saving the box for any reason, she said, "no, i just put there to set it out of the way." are you kidding me?? if anything, it was more in the way than if she had left it anywhere else. the trash wasn't even overflowing (as it usually is in my house). it was completely empty. what the hell???

every night this week, my cat, the spoiled brat that he is, has decided to sleep down in the cold, dark basement instead of in my room. not only is that insulting, especially since he's the only cat deemed special enough to even be allowed in my room, but he is actually sleeping in a tiny wicker basket full of old, dry potting soil. every afternoon he emerges covered in dirt and trying to stretch out after being cramped in such a small space. he's a pretty big boy....my cat weighs about 17 lbs for those of you who don't know. is sleeping with me really worse than sleeping in a tiny basket of dirt down in the cold, dark basement?? anyone in need of a spoiled, overeating, lazy, mean ball of fur?

could Survival Saturday have been any more disappointing for me? MSU lost to UM, PSU blew their game against OSU in the last few minutes, the Sooners blew away their competition yet again, and of course, Miami lost big to VA Tech. i could have cried. actually, i think i did. at least the beer numbed my pain slightly. and just to top off the day, i finally came to the conclusion that the guy from the bar that i've been lusting over for weeks is definitely a sketchy, hick drunk. he's just so damn hot. he looks a lot like Albert for those of you who frequent Hooli's.

a few of my coworkers came to work severely hungover this morning. i, however, showed up promptly at 6:45 a.m. completely sober. of course my damn insomnia kept me up until about 4:30, but i didnt go out and i didnt drink. why then, was i the one who threw up during my shift? oh well, i feel better now so i'm off to the bar to make up for last night.